I’m All In slothoki

As some of you may or may not know my twin brother runs and is the major contributor to this site. It was CJ that inspired and sparked my interest– no, no… check that, my obsession with No Limit Texas Hold-em. It started innocently…

…with a simple website titled UltimateBet.com and has since gotten completely out of control, just ask my two cats Big Blind and Flop, formerly known to the world as Lottie and Brodie. (I still haven’t informed my fiancee of the change.)

I bellied up to the virtual poker table underwater with a $1000 slothoki stake, all of which, to my surprise, was NOT real money. From there, I worked my way upto $1.5 million in 3 days. Amazing, huh?!? Even more amazing was the fact that it only took 3 days to convince my brother to lend me $1.5 million dollars after I blew my initial thousand in 12 minutes. (You didn’t think I won the money.)

Things only got worse when I recently went home for the Holidays and spent time amongst 4 self-proclaimed “Greatest Poker Players of All-Time”. I, of course, was the 5th.

York, PA was the setting of my first real money tournament, a $5 sit-and-go with 4 players. I came in second, thus breaking even, but eagerly entered the second $5 sit-and-go where I finished first. By the end of my East Coast tour, work thought I went on vacation for Christmas and charged me 7 paid days off claiming they were unaware of my semi-professional poker playing status, I had won $15. $15 dollars over 2 days is $7.50 a day. Over a year, my gross income would be $2,737.50… in other words, I just gave work notice.

Don’t get me wrong, that’s not a whole heck of a lot of dough, but it wasn’t just the money that convinced me of my calling. As I sat and watched a poker marathon on the Travel Channel, I noticed that all the top players had cool nicknames: The Professor, Treetop, The Brat. I realized that it was necessary to earn one for myself.

When that failed, I just gave myself one!

It dawned on me, as I sat at the table with a pair of Aces on the turn, watching CJ go all in, that I had him wrapped around my finger. So it was no suprise when we showed our hands that he had two pair, Aces and 5’s. Was I nervous? Uhhhh…. yes, but when the dealer flipped the river card, it all became clear. You see, I had A/Q and got K/5/8 on the flop. When CJ checked, I felt good about my hand, so when the A came on the turn, I had him! CJ went all in after I raised and then showed his A/5, 2 pair. Things looked very bleak until the 2nd King came on the flop. I won. A’s and K’s with the Queen kicker.

My nickname was born: Tom Sawyer. Confused?? I wasn’t, but everyone else was, so I calmly explained about how Tom spent all that time on his raft.

“That was Huck Finn, you idiot,” my brother calmly explained.

“Huck Finn”, cuz I live on the river.

So with $15 in my pocket and a home made nick-name, I enter the small community of brilliant poker players. Let’s just hope they don’t notice and kick me out.

Until then… you can catch me on the river…